WHAT??? NO CENTRAL HEATING?!

"What do you mean, we have no central heating?" I can still hear my question reverberating in my head as I ponder what once would have been an unimaginable question.

Growing up in the States where most homes have central heating, I just assumed that it was a normal thing.  It’s nothing that I ever thought about, really.  I guess when you grow up with things a certain way, you just assume everyone else has life similar to yours. Such is the fodder for my Blog.  So many things that once were normal are no longer.

Let’s face it, when I mention that I’m living in Australia, what kind of life do most NON-Aussies imagine? A life of endless days of sunshine, blue skies and surf, white sandy beaches, and hot, dry land?  What about living in this great Land of Oz in the winter? What images conjure up in your head?  More of the same, right?  If you find yourself nodding in the affirmative, you have so much to learn young whippersnapper, so keep reading!

Parka and Eskimo mukluks

Actually, the winters here are quite mild.  The problem is, when you live without central heating, the inside of your house tends to be about the same temperature as it is outside!  When we go to bed, the thermostat isn’t set to maintain a comfortable temperature throughout the house as we sleep.  Instead, the wall heater is turned off and the house temperature quickly drops.  So when we have a night that dips to 5 degrees Celsius (that’s 41 degrees Fahrenheit for my American/metrically-challenged readers!) I wake up to a house that’s so cold, that I find myself ice skating on my tile floors, doing a twirl and double Axel on my way to my coat closet to grab my parka and mukluks for warmth!

Falls Creek, finest ski resort in Victoria, Australia

You may think I’m exaggerating, but really I’m not far from the truth!  I used to wonder why Aussies invented the Ugg boot, (which, by the way look very similar to mukluks!)  I mean, why would they need such a warm boot made out of sheep skin when they live where it sunshine’s 365 days of the year?  Ahh….there’s where your imagination has led you astray!  You see, it isn’t sunny here 365 days of the year.  It’s not a land that never sees rain.  In fact, you might be surprised to learn that parts of Australia even have SNOW!  But I digress…

While house hunting recently, we found that most houses in our half-million-dollar-and-up price range had no central heating! Seriously, how is it that you can spend that much money on a house and not expect to heat your home efficiently? Of course it came to no surprise to my husband since he grew up here, but you had to practically pick me up off the floor as the reality of my situation began to sink in! I didn't know this was even possible in this day and age! I thought gone were the days that people had one heating source, (their fire place) to warm their house. Just where is Laura Ingalls when you need her?

I live in Adelaide, South Australia!

I recently found a statistic that in New Zealand, our neighbor to the south, only 5% of homes have central heat, and New Zealand is colder than Australia!   (I tried to find the same statistics for Australia without any luck, but included this information so you have an idea of what I’m dealing with. Do you feel sorry for me yet?) I guess it’s because houses are designed more to keep the heat out. They just don’t worry about the cold here. Not only are houses built without central heating, but most homes have single paned windows (I didn’t even know those existed any more!) and don’t have fireplaces! In fact, most Aussie homes have awnings and black-out curtains on every window to keep the sunshine out on hot days. See what I mean? They are more concerned about keeping houses cool to the detriment of keeping them warm in the winter.

My neighborhood in Tigard, Oregon, winter 2008

So here I am, spending my first winter in Australia and I never once imagined that the winters here would be colder than back home in Tigard, Oregon where temperatures often drop below zero Celsius for the day’s high! In order to keep warm at night in Oz, I have an electric blanket which is nothing like those back home.  Electric blankets don’t lie on top of you. Instead, they look like a huge heating pad that slips under your sheet and you lay on top. It takes a little getting used to, but they do work well which keeps me from complaining (Aussies would say, “grizzling”) about the cold at night. I know my husband appreciates that!

A very melted Frosty the Snowman...

When I wake up in the mornings, in order to avoid hypothermia I quickly throw on a turtle-neck (called a “skivvy” here), sweatshirt (Aussies call a “jumper”), jeans (they call them “jeans” here…sorry, that’s supposed to be funny) and my Ugg boots, throw some blankets over me and cozy up to my wall heater until the frost melts off my nose, much like Frosty the Snowman on a warm day!

One of two heaters for our 2-story home

Peering out from under my blankets at my husband in hopes of sympathy and compassion, I shiver with teeth chattering and say, “I’m fra-fra-fra-freezing!” Of course my Aussie husband, walking around in shorts and a t-shirt just to prove a point would respond, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not cold at all!” He’s just saying that, so he doesn’t have to turn up the heat! I guess I should be thankful for running water and electricity!

This is soooooo my husband and I!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE TROLLEYS?

I have been using grocery carts for as long as I can remember.  My parents bought a mom-and-pop grocery store in the tiny town of Cannon Beach, Oregon in the 1970’s-Brady-Bunch-era. I began working in our store and as a result, began maneuvering grocery carts with great expertise at a very young age.  I not only knew how to steer them up-and-down the aisles of our store, but also learned how to use them outside on slopes and the rough terrain of our parking lot.  I knew how to stack them, assist customers with them and even learned how to twirl on them. I guess you could say I was a grocery cart aficionado…and I was only in 5^th grade!

Our family grocery store at Christmas time...

So why am I bragging about my grocery cart expertise at the young age of ten?  Why would you care about my enthusiasm for them?  Well, fast-forward about 30 years to my life now in Australia and you’ll understand why.  Every time I place my hands on the plastic-covered-handle of the smooth metal baskets, I am reminded of the wholesome life I had growing up on the Oregon Coast. I am reminded of my parents’ store, the Mariner Market. I am reminded of what has made this piece of machinery a timeless marvel of human invention.  That is…until I begin to steer the darn thing!

You wouldn't see this in Australia!

Have you ever paid attention to the way a shopping basket (another name for grocery cart) is controlled?  Besides the necessary component of a capable person “behind the wheel”, there are certain mechanics that make it easy to operate…namely, the two front wheels that turn from side-to-side and the rear wheels that are stationary, allowing for perfect steering and control.  Even a child can do it!

Well, in Australia “shopping trolleys” (as they are called here) run with all four wheels that turn side-to-side, turning this self-proclaimed “grocery cart expert” into a disaster behind the wheel!  It’s one thing if you are “driving” it in a straight line, (anyone can do that!) But what happens when you want to turn down an aisle for your favorite cookies?  Well, all four wheels turn leaving the “driver” with a basket catapulting down the aisle sideways…or as I like to put it…catawampus! (My Aussie husband swears this isn’t a real word and laughs at me every time I use it!)  I’m telling you, steering a trolley with all four wheels turning is like attempting to safely steer your car out of a tail spin on ice…it’s almost impossible without a negative outcome!

Case in point…even though Australians have grown up with this tricky way of steering their trolleys; they still have trouble controlling them.  In fact, I recently saw a report on the telly (Aussie for “television”) that explained how insurance claims are on the rise due to hit-and-run trolley accidents.  Let’s face it.  Trolleys are often very difficult to control.  But I don’t want to blame Australians for their inability to steer their trolleys…anyone would have difficulty no matter where they grew up!  The problem is the inherent flaw in their wheel design!

My husband is such a show off!

When I first moved here, I quickly realized I was in over my head trying to push a trolley. Every time I had to turn the darn thing I was in a panic…blood-pressure rising…heart racing. Just WHAT is the proper speed to push a trolley when turning down an aisle without it going catawampus?  I would fight and fight with it, struggling to make all the necessary turns up-and-down all the aisles…nearly running over a child and a display of canned food on special. What a fine mess that would have made! Finally, I started making my poor husband push the trolley; (in fact, I still do) since he has been managing these hard-to-handle trolleys a lot longer than I have.  Not to mention the fact that he insists, “There isn’t anything wrong with our trolleys!”  To him I reply with a bit of sarcasm, “Yeah, right!”

The worst place to push a trolley is outside in the parking lot where even minor slopes leave the white-knuckled shopper terrified!  Their clenched hands desperately holding on to the handle in their feeble attempt to push their catawampus basket in a straight line hoping to avoid parked cars and children! There have been many parking lot conversions as shoppers eek out a short prayer under their breath toward heaven, “Oh God…ohhhhhh God…. Oh God! Nooooo!!!”  Keep this in mind next time you decide to visit this great Land of Oz in your rental car.  Just make sure to add additional insurance for parking lot disasters!

This gets me to thinking…perhaps Australia should issue permits for capable trolley drivers.  Every Aussie could go through a myriad of physical tests to prove they can handle an out-of-control trolley.  They could be tested on their ability to turn sharp corners while reading their shopping list.  There could be “the slope test”; pushing a full trolley in a straight line across a downward slope, with varying degrees of difficulty.  The “never-let-go test”; a shopper’s heavily weighted trolley runs catawampus down a steep slope as the terrified shopper hangs on for dear life slaloming between the parked cars like a downhill skier racing between flags.  There could even be a “wind tunnel test” to mimic the shoppers’ degree of difficulty in pushing their trolley across a sloped parking lot in a downpour of rain and intense wind.  Aussie’s who want the “advanced permit” could be tested on their one-handed steering ability giving them the right to sip their favorite iced coffee (very popular here!) while shopping.  Of course, crash dummies would be used in the place of children for all tests.  And don’t even get me started on tourists…who would have to hire “taxi drivers” for their trolleys!

I can see it now, the local security guard at every mall, like a scene from Mall Cop, will be fitted out with flashing lights in which to pull unsuspecting shoppers over asking them, “Do you have a permit to operate this trolley?”  Finally…security officers will have something to do!  ;-)

So, if trolleys are so difficult to control, this begs the question…why don’t they fix them?  Why don’t they simply make the back wheels stationary and avoid all these problems? To this I reply… “I have NO IDEA!”

Well…it’s time to head out to the shops (Australian lingo for going to the grocery store.)  Anyone care to join me?  I’ll let you push the trolley!

LAND OF THE CLOTHES LINE

The clothes line.  What image goes through your head with those three little words?  I remember my grandmother having one in her back yard when I was a little girl. It was painted green; I guess to “beautifully” blend in with the grass in the back yard. It looked a bit weathered, paint chipped from the years of use. It stood tall through the torrential Oregon rains and the occasional winter snowfall. Yes, my grandmother used her clothes line for years until the day she got herself a dryer. Well, that was the beginning of the end for “Old Faithful.” It continued to stand in the yard, now ignored and neglected except for the times we, her grand children, would hang and twirl on it like it was an amusement ride, the plastic lines falling off of it one at a time until it was bear. Eventually, after all its years of service, Grandpa removed that old clothes line from the ground and unceremoniously disposed of it. No one seemed to take notice. After all, Grandma now had a dryer!

The only other time I remember seeing a clothes line in my life was the occasional hotel that would have one in the bathroom. You know the kind? You could pull it out from the wall…just one line…that would stretch across the bathtub, perfect for hanging wet swim suits used in the pool. I used to think, “What a wonderful invention. Wish I had one over my bathtub as well.”

Now fast-forward to 2011 and you’re living in Australia, land of sunshine, blue oceans, white sandy beaches and…you guessed it…land of the clothes line! Every house in Australia has at least one! It’s very reminiscent of Europe, seeing clothes hanging out to dry in the very efficient Australian sun and heat.

I was recently Skyping with my mother, (she finally got Skype and this was our first time seeing each other since I moved to Australia), showing her our new house. I “took her” outside my French doors to show her my terraced garden and slate steps leading up to our pool. As I turned to walk back down the steps she caught a glimpse of it… “Is that your laundry?” she asked.

“Yes, Mom” I said with a sigh and an added roll of my eyes, “that’s our laundry.”

“What’s it doing outside? Isn’t it winter there? Won’t it take a while to dry?”

“Yes, Mom…about 2-3 days.”

Even though it’s winter here right now, that doesn’t stop Aussies from hanging their clothes out to dry.  In spite of the cold and rain, we do get our fair share of sunny days in the middle of winter.  I had told her stories of my laundry hanging out to dry, and it’s also been fodder for some recent blog updates, but today was the first time she could actually see it first hand! I guess a picture’s worth a thousand words, right?

I proceeded to apologetically tell her, “Ashley (my husband) put some sheets on the line to dry.” My poor husband. He so desperately wants me to be happy here and believes part of that will come as I assimilate to the Australian way of life, but I begrudgingly dig my heels in…kicking and screaming most of the way! What can I say; I love modern conveniences like the dryer! If God didn’t intend for us to use them, He wouldn’t have allowed us to invent them, right? I know, this is slightly flawed theology, but you get my drift!

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah…I was Skyping with Mom and showing her our new home when I turned my laptop in the direction of our fireplace (a rarity in these parts!) Mom suddenly stopped me and asked, “What’s that?  Is that clothing hanging by the fireplace?”

Gulp! She discovered something I hadn’t had the guts to share with her before…

“Oh Mom,” I sheepishly replied, “that’s our INDOOR clothes line,” (…a free-standing sculptor of metal that allows you to hang a full load of laundry in a small space.)  It was standing there, in all its glory, in our formal living room, full of laundry! At that moment I was faced with the impenetrable truth before me; I could not lie to her. I blurted out, “They’re really hard-core about hanging their laundry here!” I was hoping for some compassion from my mother. Instead, she busted out laughing with a belly-laugh I hadn’t heard from her in a long time. She just couldn’t get over the Ninja-tactics used to dry laundry in winter when we have a perfectly good dryer in our laundry room!  (Note: pictured here is the indoor clothesline I use in my home. It's obvious I got this off the internet since I'm never smiling when I'm using it.  Looks pitiful, doesn't it?)

I must admit, I do resist Aussie ways and enjoy running my clothing, especially towels and socks in the dryer. But my husband insists it’s too hard on his clothes and fears shrinkage from the heat, so I continue to hang his clothing in the middle of winter. In my desperate search for the quickest way to dry clothes indoors when I don’t have central heat (don’t get me started on this. I’ll save that for a future discussion!) I came up with the perfect solution…dry them hanging in front of the gas fireplace which is one of two heat sources for our house that is about 3,000 square feet!  Oh my…is this what the Pilgrim’s went through, drying clothes by the fire? What time warp am I in? Next I’ll be fishing in the nearby stream for our dinner. Help!!!

Okay…so now not only does my mother know the truth, but you do as well.  Yes, we avoid using our clothes dryer even in the winter. Yes, we hang our clothing in our formal living room to dry.  Yes, I’m a complete failure when it comes to coping with this Fred-Flinstonian way of doing laundry.  But I do love it here.  At least we have enough sunshine and warmth to dry our clothing outside, year-round, in the fresh Australian air. Can’t say that about the weather back home in Oregon!

...I guess I should be thankful it doesn't snow here!

THE CLOTHES DRYER...MODERN ART? - Part Deux

Okay! Will someone please remind me why I don't use my perfectly good clothes dryer?  Yes, it is small…about half the size of my dryer in the States, (which may be an overstatement of it’s actual size.)  It’s so small that three large towels max it out to capacity.  In fact, it’s so small…How small is it you say?  It’s so small, that if it was any smaller, Barbie would be using it to dry Ken’s boxers!  It is because of its size that Australian’s typically hang them on the wall above their washers!  Can you believe it?  A clothes dryer hanging on the wall, gathering dust (because it’s rarely used) like some piece of modern art…like a sculpture designed by Michelangelo himself!

So...I have a question that I'd like to throw out into the cosmic universe... “Why do I continue to hang my clothes out to dry now that we are heading into winter and the weather has decidedly changed to cool, damp and rainy?" Believe it or not, but the change in weather doesn’t stop Aussies from hanging out their clothing to dry. They just watch the weather reports on television a little more closely to determine the best day to do laundry. In fact, the weatherman often will describe a sunny day in winter by saying, “Today would be a great day to put the laundry out.” Can you believe it?  Getting laundry advice from the weatherman!





In the winter, timing is everything!

Today started out a bit chilly and overcast with some drizzles, reminding me a lot of my home in Oregon, but the drizzles had stopped (unlike Oregon) so I decided to hang the laundry out to dry...this is where I went wrong!  What on earth makes me believe that I can dry my wet laundry outside on a day that’s reminiscent of a rainy day at the beach back home? Of course, I didn’t have any good explanation for this so I shrugged my shoulders and dismissed it with the old, “When in Rome do as the Romans do” cliché, in hopes that would improve my attitude about doing something that made no logical sense.  So, instead of throwing my damp clothes into a dryer, I boldly turned my face to the wind, reached into my laundry basket, sunshine on my back, as I squeezed the clothes pins one at a time, to hold each piece of laundry snugly into place until the basket was empty.

Once I had completed my task, I headed back into my warm, dry house and found myself to be a bit prideful for such an accomplishment. Not only did this dryer-using, never-hung-laundry-out-to-dry-American bravely face the elements successfully hanging my load of laundry in true Aussie fashion, but I managed to do so between storm clouds! You see? With a bit of meticulous planning you can take advantage of the sun breaks and hopefully find your clothes dry before the next burst of rain.

At that point, I peered through the window, admiring my laundry hanging beautifully on the line as it soaked up the bright sunshine and fresh air of the day when all of the sudden…oh, oh…something I hadn’t planned on… “Nooooo!” I cried, as I watched a bird land on my freshly washed laundry and before I could run outside to shoo it away…you guessed it…the stupid bird pooped on my laundry!!!!  Okay, that is something my mother never taught me in “Laundry 101” classes growing up.  It made me start praying for the rain that I had been so determined to avoid a few minutes earlier in hopes it would undo what the bird had just done!

Like I said…timing is everything!  I’m sure that’s what the bird thought!

THE CLOTHES DRYER...MODERN ART?

When was the last time your grandmother hung her laundry out to dry?  I guess a better question is…when was the last time you hung YOUR load of laundry outside to dry?  Or better yet…when was the last time you hung your clothes outside in the DARK?  I can tell you this was me just last night. “Why?” you ask.  “Why would you hang your clothes out to dry when you have a perfectly good clothes dryer?”  Ahhh…there’s the Million Dollar Question!

I couldn’t believe it…it was dark, and there I was standing outside in our backyard in the dim glow of a lone light bulb (Aussies call them “globes”) glowing from inside the laundry room and a laundry basket full of wet clothes by my side.  As I stretched out to grab each item, along with two clothes pins to put them neatly on the line, (I can’t believe I actually have a use for clothes pins again!) I couldn’t help but wonder what unseen critter was hanging out in the grass, in the dark of night, to have me for dinner…er…um…“tea” (another Aussie term)!  You know that “little kid” feeling, when you get the creepy-crawlies suspecting every bug…every spider…every SNAKE to jump out of the dark and eat you alive?  All that would be left of me when someone eventually became concerned of my whereabouts were my flip flops (they still call them “thongs” here), my clothes and my half-empty basket of wet laundry! Gives me the creeps just thinking about it!

Another perfectly good question is why was I hanging the laundry out at night?  Why not wait until morning?  Well….you know that wonderful smell that permeates your laundry room when you open the washer after allowing your clothes a few days to sit there waiting to be dried?  You know…the sour smell that reminds you of something pleasant like baby vomit?  Well, back home in Oregon, I could “accidentally” leave my clothes in the washer for 2 days…3 days tops (no I never did that…just pretending for dramatic effect! =)  and still be able to throw the clothes in the dryer with no problem.  A dryer sheet to help mask any possible odor issues and the laundry was good to go!  Well, here in Australia things are quite different.  It tends to be a bit warmer here than in Oregon, (go figure!) so the sour smell of rotting clothes begins at a fairly rapid pace…much like the speed that ice cream cones melt in your hands!  So, hanging laundry out at night is a regular practice here; just don’t get me started about the creepy-crawlies that get all over your clothing in the dark!  I just have to shove those thoughts out of my brain and think of something happier, like a root canal!

Yes, Australians LOVE their clothes lines! In fact, almost every home in Australia has one in their backyards that is regularly used! One clothesline is celebrated above all the others; the “Hills Hoists” is a height-adjustable rotary clothes line, invented in Adelaide by Lance Hill in 1945.  So proud of this invention that it was ceremoniously included in the opening ceremony of the 2000 summer Olympics in Sydney!

Fortunately, they still use another old invention called a laundry trolley, which is a cart on wheels that lifts your laundry basket to about hip level so you don’t have to crouch and bend to get your clothing from the laundry basket on the ground.

So here I am, living in this wonderful Land of Oz and just where is my clothes dryer?  You’ll never guess…go ahead…take a guess… like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, it’s somewhere over the rainbow! Actually, it’s somewhere over my washer…hanging on the wall in the laundry room!  I kid you not! This square object, covered in dust since it isn’t used regularly, is hanging on the wall like a piece of art!
...Perhaps I should remove it from my wall and put it up for auction at Christie’s!

DRIVE ON THE LEFT...WALK ON THE RIGHT

The Great Ocean Road

I have just one cosmic question to throw out into the Universe:  “Why doesn’t the whole world drive on the SAME side of the road?”  I don’t care who’s right or wrong; I don’t care if it’s on the right or the left…just choose a side!  It would make life so much simpler for those of us who travel and spend life straddling two countries that drive on opposite sides of the road.  Try as I may, I’m just not ambidextrous when it comes to driving!

Shortly after I arrived in left-driving Australia, a 29-year-old visiting Frenchman was on trial for driving on the wrong side of the road (France drives on the right) hitting a 20-year-old driver and killing her. The judge gave the driver, a suspended 18-month jail sentence having compassion on him for having to live with life-long guilt, knowing he had ended the life of a young woman.  Perhaps she would still be alive if the whole world just agreed to drive on the same side of the road.

20-yr-old Asha Wood killed by visiting Frenchman

Australia tries to help those of us who are "right-handed-driving-impaired" with signage from time to time. For instance, when you drive the windy Great Ocean Road (which we did last April), you will see signs along the way reminding you of where you are...in case you had forgotten!  It really is easy to forget at times.  There are so many gorgeous places to stop and look at along this two-lane road, (like The Twelve Apostles), that when you get back in your car, it is so easy to hop on the right hand side of the road without even thinking! I'm embarrassed to admit how often I do this, especially when there are no other cars on the road to give you a hint!

Here I am in Ireland...they wrote notes on the streets just for me!

When I was in left-driving Ireland last year, I didn’t do any driving, but I certainly did my share of walking.  Did you know that when drivers drive on the opposite side of the road you are used to, that it affects the way you walk?  Actually, it affects the way you cross the road and Dublin knows it.  That’s why the cross walks are painted with the words, Look Right or Look Left, assisting the weary international traveler who is “walking impaired.”


Okay…so I grew up in the U.S. where traffic drives on the right side of the road.  When I was a child, I grew up hearing my mother tell me over my shoulder, “Don’t forget to look both ways!”
“Mo-om,” I whined, “I am!” 
“And remember to look to the left just before you cross,” she continued.

Well, now I find myself in Australia.  Every time I come to a cross walk, I get so confused; my head spinning with so many questions…What side of the road are the cars driving on?  Which way should I be looking?  As the questions flood my mind, hesitation sets in as I struggle to make the correct decision.  In spite of all of this, I can’t tell you how many times I just about stepped in front of a moving vehicle!  After so many close calls, I finally started repeating to myself before stepping off the curb, “Look right.”  A lesson I learned well from my time in Ireland.

This guy looks just as confused as I am!

So, now I think I have everything under control.  Always drive on the LEFT.  The driver’s side of the car is always on the RIGHT.  Before I cross the road…Look Right.  When I walk on a road, walk on the RIGHT side, facing the oncoming traffic.  I’m a pro, right?  Wrong!  I neglected one more rule of the “road” when walking.  When walking on the sidewalk or the mall, or down a corridor…walk on the LEFT!  Argh!  Left… right… left… right.  Now I’m really confused!  I thought I always had to walk on the right, and now I find I always have to walk on the left as well?  The simplest way to explain this is to imagine yourself in the mall…we walk as though we are cars in traffic.  Rather than trying to explain it further…think about it!

Are you as confused as I am?  Now do you understand why I started out this entry to my blog with the cosmic question, “Why doesn’t the whole world drive on the SAME side of the road?”  If they did, there wouldn’t be a need for this blog entry and there wouldn't be a song called, “Pedestrians is Another Word for Speed Bump!”

Time to face my fears and go for a drive!  Care to join me?

NO FLIES ON ME!

I never thought I would say this but…“I miss the common American housefly!”  I know…you’re thinking that I have completely lost my mind!  I admit, I know how this sounds, but stick with me a minute.  Sure, the housefly is loud and can be quite annoying, but at least they are well-mannered, they mind their own business and are easily trained

“Easily trained?” you ask in utter shock.  Yes, I said, “Easily trained.”  I accidentally found this out one night as I was in bed attempting to sleep.  A pesky fly had decided the night was still young and he had partying to do!  He tried his best to befriend me and keep me company.  To his chagrin, I was not interested in being entertained, so after a while he gave up and decided that his “vocal styling” would sweetly lull me to sleep.

So how do you rid yourself of this pesky varmint?  Just how, exactly, is it easily trained?

I have to warn you, this only works at night, but if you turn off all the lights in your bedroom and then turn on a hallway light, the fly will chase the light and leave your room.  At that point, you quickly slam your bedroom door behind him and…voila! The housefly is no longer your best friend!  Since I discovered this trick, I no longer share my bedroom with a fly that sounds like an airplane coming in for a landing! (Bet you didn’t think you’d actually learn something while reading my blog, did you?  It’s okay, I won’t take it personally!)

So, as annoying as the American housefly is, why do I appreciate it so much?  A better question to be raised is, when was the last time you spent time with the Australian blowfly?  These unwelcome critters make the American housefly seem rather sweet; as though you’d like to keep them as pets and give them names!

The Great Australian Salute!

I have never seen such a “friendly” insect before.  Flies, here in Australia, are very determined and don’t take “no” for an answer!  For some reason, they like to fly up to you and land on your face (<sigh>…always the face.)  No big deal, right?  Wrong!!  In the time it takes you to wave your hand in front of your face to ward of the little devil, the fly jumps off and immediately turns around for another landing in the same spot…again…and again…and again!  This “game” with the local flies is so common that the Aussie’s have given it a name; “The Great Australian Salute!”  They become so bothersome that local news reporters don’t wave them off.  Instead, they just let the fly stay on their face throughout their report, sending it a mixed message that it must somehow be welcome!

When I go outside for my jog and am bothered by such a nuisance, I am not too proud to wave, in my case, The Great American Salute!”  In fact, I’m half-tempted to purchase one of those big brimmed hats with corks hanging off the end for my own piece of mind!  Rather attractive while jogging, wouldn't you say?

Yes...those are Australian flies!

So what does one do when faced with such an annoyance?  “If you can’t beat 'em…join 'em!”  I have decided to change my perspective.  In order to not be so annoyed by these “friendly” little buggers (no pun intended), I like to consider them “Australia’s Official Welcoming Committee.”  Every time they land on me, it’s as though they are saying “Hello, and welcome to Australia!”  Only problem is, they have very poor communication with their home base and don’t tell the others that I have already been greeted.  Because of that, every blowfly in the country feels it has to land on me, hang on for dear life, and give me their official, yet persistent, welcome to Australia “hug!”

...Here’s hoping they drop like flies!