NO FLIES ON ME!

I never thought I would say this but…“I miss the common American housefly!”  I know…you’re thinking that I have completely lost my mind!  I admit, I know how this sounds, but stick with me a minute.  Sure, the housefly is loud and can be quite annoying, but at least they are well-mannered, they mind their own business and are easily trained

“Easily trained?” you ask in utter shock.  Yes, I said, “Easily trained.”  I accidentally found this out one night as I was in bed attempting to sleep.  A pesky fly had decided the night was still young and he had partying to do!  He tried his best to befriend me and keep me company.  To his chagrin, I was not interested in being entertained, so after a while he gave up and decided that his “vocal styling” would sweetly lull me to sleep.

So how do you rid yourself of this pesky varmint?  Just how, exactly, is it easily trained?

I have to warn you, this only works at night, but if you turn off all the lights in your bedroom and then turn on a hallway light, the fly will chase the light and leave your room.  At that point, you quickly slam your bedroom door behind him and…voila! The housefly is no longer your best friend!  Since I discovered this trick, I no longer share my bedroom with a fly that sounds like an airplane coming in for a landing! (Bet you didn’t think you’d actually learn something while reading my blog, did you?  It’s okay, I won’t take it personally!)

So, as annoying as the American housefly is, why do I appreciate it so much?  A better question to be raised is, when was the last time you spent time with the Australian blowfly?  These unwelcome critters make the American housefly seem rather sweet; as though you’d like to keep them as pets and give them names!

The Great Australian Salute!

I have never seen such a “friendly” insect before.  Flies, here in Australia, are very determined and don’t take “no” for an answer!  For some reason, they like to fly up to you and land on your face (<sigh>…always the face.)  No big deal, right?  Wrong!!  In the time it takes you to wave your hand in front of your face to ward of the little devil, the fly jumps off and immediately turns around for another landing in the same spot…again…and again…and again!  This “game” with the local flies is so common that the Aussie’s have given it a name; “The Great Australian Salute!”  They become so bothersome that local news reporters don’t wave them off.  Instead, they just let the fly stay on their face throughout their report, sending it a mixed message that it must somehow be welcome!

When I go outside for my jog and am bothered by such a nuisance, I am not too proud to wave, in my case, The Great American Salute!”  In fact, I’m half-tempted to purchase one of those big brimmed hats with corks hanging off the end for my own piece of mind!  Rather attractive while jogging, wouldn't you say?

Yes...those are Australian flies!

So what does one do when faced with such an annoyance?  “If you can’t beat 'em…join 'em!”  I have decided to change my perspective.  In order to not be so annoyed by these “friendly” little buggers (no pun intended), I like to consider them “Australia’s Official Welcoming Committee.”  Every time they land on me, it’s as though they are saying “Hello, and welcome to Australia!”  Only problem is, they have very poor communication with their home base and don’t tell the others that I have already been greeted.  Because of that, every blowfly in the country feels it has to land on me, hang on for dear life, and give me their official, yet persistent, welcome to Australia “hug!”

...Here’s hoping they drop like flies!