BUDGIE SMUGGLERS

I have a question to throw out into the great cosmic void… “Why, oh dear God, WHY is it okay to wear budgie smugglers in public, in Australia?” Not only are these skin-tight, band-aid sized pieces of fabric worn, but they are worn PROUDLY! I mean…what’s up with that?!

I grew up always being aware of the existence of this particularly miniscule-sized item of men’s clothing. After all, Ken (Barbie’s boyfriend) wore them! They have also been famously worn by super heroes like Superman. (With the body to pull it off I might add!) And to be fair, these garments are worn today by competitive swimmers, but even then they have a specific place and purpose for wearing them!

On my recent trip to Lorne, Victoria, Australia April 2012

What exactly, is a budgie smuggler, you ask? Well, Americans know them generically as Speedos! Aussie’s affectionately refer to them as “a-4-letter-word-rhyming-with-Rick bathers!” Yes, that’s right! When you wander out onto the iconic beaches of Australia to enjoy the sunshine, beautiful white sand beaches and blue ocean waves, you might also find yourself unintentionally ogling an Aussie man, butt naked, except for the postage-sized swimsuit covering his…uh…er… “budgie!” Instead of gazing upon the gorgeous, scenic surf and sand, you might find yourself wanting to look the other way!

At this point I find it necessary to defend the men of Australia. Fortunately not all of them feel it is important to parade their “stuff” on the public beaches in front of women and children. In fact, most of them do not! (For which I am most grateful!) Most are wise enough to know that they could potentially scar children for life! Besides, what’s the point of wearing one if we are too embarrassed to look!

I grew up at the beach…a tourist destination on the Oregon coast, and I can honestly say that in spite of growing up there, I managed to go throughout my life without being “blessed” by seeing a Speedo worn in public! So why is it that some Aussie men find sharing their glorious naked bodies with God and everyone a totally respectable thing to do? I mean, where’s the Australian tourism industry when you need them???!



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